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Twin Flames

Twin flame runner – Traits, Signs and Feelings

20 minute read

If you are reading this article, chances are you’re a twin flame who has experienced or is experiencing twin flame separation – the runner and chaser stage. This is one of the most painful twin flame stages you can go through, and unfortunately, I have to tell you that it is part of the journey.

If you are currently playing the twin flame chaser role, you are probably trying to understand what went wrong in your twin flame relationship and why did your twin flame run in such an unexpected and unexplained way. If you are a twin flame runner, then you have probably just awakened and are also trying to understand what happened to you and why did you run from someone you love.

This is not an easy topic, and I am aware that some of you might not like some of the things that I am about to share, depending on which stage of the healing process you are but I have to be honest, as I always say, this blog is not the Disney channel. Not everything is unicorns and rainbows, we need to look at some other stuff as well, if we want to evolve in our consciousness evolution journey. So, let’s dive deep into this topic and answer some of the most common questions we all ask at some point about the twin flame runner.

Who is the twin flame runner?

In a twin flame relationship, the twin flame runner is the one who “runs away” from the connection during twin flame separation.  For a specific number of reasons, the twin flame runner decides that it is better to give up on the relationship and go separate ways, leaving their twin – the twin flame chaser – completely devastated and broken hearted.


There are some characteristics and signs that can indicate who is the runner in twin flame relationships.

Twin flame runner signs

  • Lives their life in constant fear about the unknown
  • Is more anxious or worried about what the future might look like
  • Is unable to/doesn’t want to look at their past wounds or traumas
  • Tries to avoid confrontation of all sorts
  • Shows a lack of understanding towards conflict and difficult situations
  • Didn’t find their life mission or purpose yet
  • Feels a bit lost in life
  • Feels overwhelmed
  • Feels confused
  • Feels that there must be something else that they need to do
  • Feels that a relationship might prevent them from achieving their goals
  • Is afraid of judgement by others

Why does the twin flame runner run?

The first question we all ask when our twin flame runs away after a beautiful period of bliss in the relationship is “why did they run”? It looks like nothing makes sense. One day they love you deeply and the next they get cold and distant and simply walk out the door. If you are lucky they might give you some type of clues about how scared they are of the relationship but most of the times they might leave without any type of explanation or after a “stupid” argument.

The simple answer to this question is, the twin flame runner runs away because they are not able to face themselves and their own issues, at that specific time. They become overwhelmed and scared of all the stuff that the relationship triggered for them. They feel the need to run and protect themselves from suffering. All this urgent need comes from their subconscious mind and they are not even aware or able to explain it to themselves. In their mind they can see lots of good reasons to exit the relationship but they are not aware of the real one which is the fact that you met to trigger each other and mirror all the good and bad stuff from deep within.

Some of the most common reasons the twin flame runner will give themselves to run away are simple things their partners do that trigger them and they don’t want to deal with. For instance, they might accuse you of being too controlling without realizing they are also controlling in a different way. This is because twin flames act as mirrors of each other bringing to the surface all the deepest wounds and issues that need to be addressed and healed. So whenever a twin flame points a finger at you, they are also pointing at themselves. This happens with other people as well (though it is more noticeable with twin flames). What we don’t like in others, is somewhere deeply buried inside of ourselves as well. But this is a whole topic for another blog as it can get quite complex, so let’s move on.

What is the twin flame runner afraid of?

The twin flame runner is afraid of themself.

As the purpose of the twin flame connection is to help us wake up quicker so that we can start fulfilling our twin flame mission, they naturally trigger all the stuff that we are not aware of, mainly wounds from childhood, which need to be healed. We see these wounds reflected in our twin and when this happens we get triggered and we get scared of what we see. But in fact, we are afraid of what is inside of us, all the hidden stuff that we didn’t even know needed to be healed. And this is when the turmoil in the relationship usually starts. We start seeing things that we didn’t want to see.

For instance, if you had relationship issues with your father, or you were abandoned by him, it might have made you live your life mainly in a dominant masculine energy to compensate the lack of love you felt in the past. When this happens, you tend to say, “I will never date someone like my father”. However, what usually happens is that you keep attracting people who are either exactly like him – emotionally unavailable – or who are energetically imbalanced like you ( in this case they would probably be too much on their feminine energy).

If you have abandonment issues, most likely your twin flame has them as well. If your parents had drinking problems and you try the best you can to avoid people with drinking problems because you have so much resentment for people who drink toon much, then your twin flame probably will have drinking problems as well, as you tend to attract what you want to avoid until that wound is 100% healed inside of you.

The story keeps repeating until you are able to see the pattern and heal it, for instance, genuinely forgiving your parents and feel total peace within. When you are peaceful inside, it is reflected in your outer reality and relationships. That’s how the law of attraction works and that’s why twin flame encounters are so powerful. They make you see all this so much quicker because the connection is so intense and you are exactly like mirrors of each other.

Understanding the Twin Flame Runner – Behaviors, Characteristics, and Feelings

Behavior Examples  Causes  Feelings 
Emotional Distance Keeping physical or emotional distance from the twin flame. Examples: avoiding phone calls or physical contact, shutting down emotionally. Fear of being hurt or overwhelmed by the intense connection. Fear, insecurity, self-doubt, confusion.
Conflict Avoidance Avoiding confrontation or difficult conversations with the twin flame. Examples: not responding to messages, avoiding talking about sensitive topics. Resistance to facing and resolving conflicts in the relationship. Resistance, hesitation, anxiety, guilt.
Fear of Being Vulnerable Struggling to open up emotionally and be vulnerable. Examples: avoiding deep emotional conversations, struggling with physical intimacy. Fear of being hurt or overwhelmed by intense emotional connections. Fear, insecurity, self-doubt, resistance.
Indecisiveness Struggling with making decisions about the relationship. Examples: unable to commit, constantly changing their mind. Insecurity about the relationship, fear of making the wrong decision. Confusion, uncertainty, anxiety.
Hesitancy Difficulty expressing feelings or moving forward in the relationship. Examples: struggling with physical intimacy, avoiding deep emotional conversations. Fear of vulnerability and being hurt. Fear, insecurity, self-doubt, resistance.
Protective Measures Taking steps to protect themselves emotionally. Examples: building walls, avoiding deep connections with others. Fear of being hurt or overwhelmed by intense connections. Fear, insecurity, self-doubt, guilt.
Confusion Feeling uncertain or unclear about their feelings and the relationship. Examples: changing their mind frequently, feeling conflicted. The complexity of the twin flame relationship and their own emotions. Confusion, uncertainty, indecision.


Of course, this is a very simplistic way of explaining a very complex issue which would need at least an entire book just to discuss it. I recommend you read some of my other twin flame articles or do some research on this.

Let’s move to the next question you usually ask after your twin flame runs away which is “how does the twin flame runner feel about the chaser?”

Does the twin flame runner love the chaser?

Yes! The answer is yes! Though you might find it hard to believe, whenever we talk about true twin flame relationships (do not confuse with toxic and violent relationships, anything that involves some type of violence is not a twin flame relationship!), the twin flame runner loves their twin flame chaser even if they think they are not sure about it. Deep inside they simply do not love the wounds that were brought to the surface by interacting with the twin flame chaser and then they project those on them.

They get confused and feel repelled, especially when their twin flame chaser starts “chasing” them. And by “chasing” I don’t mean literally! The simple fact that you feel super attached to them and dream on them coming back every day, can keep you in the twin flame chaser role because of the amount of energy that your thoughts generate. That’s why it is important that the twin flame chaser starts their healing process (yes, both twin flames need to heal) and stop chasing love and let love chase them.

Why would your twin flame runner deny their feelings for you?

So, if the twin flame runner loves the twin flame chaser, why would they deny their feelings?

Well, they don’t deny their feelings, they simply deny seeing all the issues that they have deep inside which need to be healed. The same happens with the twin flame chaser which has to do a lot of healing as well. The difference is that in most of the case the twin flame chaser wakes up before the twin flame runner and starts working on themselves sooner, which helps them heal faster.

When the twin flame runner denies their feelings, they are basically trying to protect themselves from all the suffering that is involved in diving deep into old wounds, acknowledging that they exist and then doing all the hard work to heal them. This is very painful and so their ego tries to protect them from all of that.

Only when they awake (check out the twin flame awakening process) and become conscious that they were actually running away from themselves rather than their twin flame, they will be able to acknowledge their feelings.

Unfortunately, sometimes it can take months or even years for this to happen and they might even enter other relationships with other people in case they insist in not doing the healing work.

Why does the twin flame runner run to someone else?

It is very common for the twin flame runner to start dating someone else or go back to a karmic ex. This is because it feels more “familiar” and “safe” to them. As they do their best to run away from all the intensity and everything that has triggered them in the twin flame relationship, they think that it is a good idea to just go back to what they know and think they can “control” or deal with better, and feels easier for them. They feel as if they are protecting themselves. I have written an entire article on this topic – twin flame went back to karmic ex -so go check it out.

How does the twin flame runner feel during separation?

So, how does the twin flame runner feel when they reject their twin flame? Does the twin flame runner suffer? And does the twin flame runner miss the chaser?

Yes! The twin flame runner suffers and misses their twin flame as well, though most of the times they will not admit it. Deep inside they are aware that they experienced a connection like no other. There is nothing more intense. But at the same time, they feel repelled and such a strong urge to run away from their twin flame, especially if their twin is in “chasing” mode. The more they are chased, the more they feel the need to run. This is part of the twin flame dynamic and is simply how energy works.

All of this causes immense pain in the twin flame runner as well as they don’t even quite understand why they are running or what they are running from. They wished they could be with their twin but they feel that is not safe or wise to do it so they try to protect themselves the best that they can.

Does the twin flame runner regret?

What about regret? Does the twin flame runner regret separation?

Well, usually right after the breakup, the twin flame runner feels kind of “relieved” for running away as they think they are safer and more protected. They logically think that it was the best thing to do, especially when they see or energetically feel their twin flame starting to “chase” them.

However, if the twin flame chaser starts working on themselves, stops focusing on the twin flame runner or even decides to cut cords in the twin flame connection, then that’s when they usually start to feel the absence of their twin flame energy and start missing them more and regretting their actions.

Does the twin flame runner see signs?

During twin flame separation, twins are usually showered with signs and synchronicities such as frequently seeing 11:11, which give them hints about the healing process. In some cases, they can even experience twin flame telepathy and communicate in many different forms such as through dreams and astral travelling.

The thing is that not everyone is immediately aware of the meaning and significance of these signs. You need to have done a certain amount of healing in order to be more present, which will allow you to see the signs and interpret them. But it usually gets to a point where eventually their spirit guides and guardian angels will become more active in their efforts to help them heal and will make these signs so obvious that they will be almost unable to miss them and ignore them.

Do twin flame runners come back?

So, when does the twin flame runner stop running? Will they ever come back?

Yes, in some cases they will come back but in others permanent twin flame separation can occur. (I warned you that this is not Disney channel unfortunately) The main reason why this can happen is not only because there is “free will” on the planet but also because some twin flame runners will not be willing to do all the necessary healing work that they need to do. It can happen on both sides as both need to do a lot of work in order to get to a point of healing where they are able to align. This is not an easy process but that’s why you chose to do it on a soul contract level before coming to Earth. You agreed that you would meet and help each other awake quicker through all the suffering and pain, so that you could start your mission on the planet. That’s the most important thing about twin flame relationships that people forget. There’s a reason why you came here, twin flames have a mission to fulfill. Most of them will be starseeds or lightworkers and came here to help the planet evolve. This can only be done after you heal yourself, that’s when you can help others.

In some cases, after all the necessary healing work, the twin flame chaser realizes that no matter how much they loved the twin flame runner in the past, they let go of all the attachment and decide that they would rather stay off or be with a soulmate instead, because their twin flame runner has not healed. It happens many times and in this case, the roles will then reverse and the runner becomes the chaser. Again, it is how this dynamic works.

If both twin flames heal, then twin flame reunion can finally happen.

Twin flame runner return signs

While the journey back to each other may seem uncertain, there are certain signs that can indicate that a twin flame runner is ready to return. In the below table, we explore the behaviors, causes, and feelings behind the twin flame runner return signs, providing insights into what to look for and what to expect from them. Whether you are the runner or the one waiting for their return, understanding these signs can help guide you on the path back to each other.

Twin Flame Runner Return Sign

Examples of signs



Increased Communication

The runner may reach out more frequently or initiate more conversations, indicating a desire to reconnect and rekindle the connection.

A shift in the runner’s perspective and a recognition of the value of the relationship

A desire to reconnect and a deeper understanding of the twin flame connection

Softening of Their Resistant Attitude

The runner may become less resistant to the connection and be more open to talking about the relationship, expressing their feelings, and moving forward.

A change in priorities and a willingness to make the relationship a priority in their life

A recognition of the need to heal and grow, both within themselves and in the relationship

A Change in Priorities

The runner may begin to prioritize the twin flame relationship and make an effort to make it a priority in their life.

An increase in self-awareness and a deeper understanding of the importance of the relationship

A recognition of the value of the relationship and a desire to maintain and strengthen the connection

Desire for Closeness

The runner may begin to express a desire for closer physical or emotional connection and make moves to deepen the connection.

A shift in the runner’s perspective and a recognition of the value of the relationship

A desire to deepen the connection and a recognition of the need for physical or emotional intimacy

Reflection and Self-Discovery

The runner may engage in introspection and self-discovery, exploring their own emotions and motivations in relation to the twin flame relationship.

A recognition of the need for healing and growth, both within themselves and in the relationship

A deeper understanding of the twin flame connection and the purpose it serves in their life

Increased Intensity

The runner may experience an intensification of the connection, marked by heightened emotions, synchronicities, and spiritual experiences.

A shift in the runner’s perspective and a recognition of the value of the relationship

A deeper connection to the twin flame and a recognition of the unique and profound nature of the relationship

Increased Thoughts and Dreaming About the Twin Flame

The runner may start to think and dream about the twin flame more frequently and intensely.

The runner may be starting to process and integrate their experiences with their twin flame and the relationship, leading to a deeper understanding and appreciation of the connection.

The runner may be feeling a longing and yearning for the connection and a deeper understanding of their experiences with the twin flame.

A Deepening of Emotional and Spiritual Awareness

The runner may experience a greater sense of emotional and spiritual awareness, leading to a greater understanding of themselves and their connection with the twin flame.

The runner may be going through a process of personal growth and development, leading to a deeper understanding of themselves and their connection with the twin flame.

The runner may be feeling a sense of clarity, inner peace, and understanding in their experiences and relationship with the twin flame.

Increased Intuition and Psychic Sensitivity

The runner may experience a heightened intuition and psychic sensitivity, leading to a deeper understanding of their experiences with the twin flame.

The runner may be tapping into their inner wisdom and intuition, leading to a deeper understanding of their experiences with the twin flame.

The runner may be feeling a sense of spiritual connection and understanding in their experiences and relationship with the twin flame.

How do I stop my twin flame runner from running?

The best way to stop the twin flame runner from running is to work on yourself and give them space. Learn how to stop chasing love and let love chase you. Learn how to let go of your past and learn how to heal twin flame separation pain.

I have written an entire article on twin flame reunion with tips on how to reunite with your twin flame. But the most important thing you need to know is that the more you heal yourself, the more you heal others around you, including your twin flame runner. So, start focusing on yourself and learn how to love yourself first. Set boundaries and decide what you value the most in a relationship and how you want and deserve to be treated. The more you do this, the more magnetic your energy will be and the more love you will start immediately attracting into your life. That’s the law of attraction and that’s what makes the twin flame runner return.

How does the twin flame runner wake up?

The twin flame runner will be able to return after they go through the twin flame awakening process. Again, I have written an entire article explain everything that is involved in the awakening and what can help them wake up. I strongly suggest you check it out.
However, the main point here and the quickest answer is that they often wake up when they feel the “lack” of your energy in their field. That’s one of the main triggers for waking up. As you genuinely move on with your life and don’t feel attached to them anymore, or the need for any specific outcome of the twin flame connection, then that’s when they wake up. This is usually when you are already focused on your personal mission and working on the things you really love doing as well as helping others doing the same. This is when your energy is so beautiful, magnetic and powerful that can attract anything.

So, if there is anything that I would love you to take from this article is that you need to love yourself. Never forget that you are beautiful and lovable. You deserve love and you can attract the love you want by being authentic in every single aspect of your life. Find out what drives you and what fills your heart with joy and then focus on that. Miracles will start happening everywhere around you. Trust the universe.

Love and light x


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