Twin flame stages – What stage are you in?

•15 minute read

Every twin flame relationship is unique and serves a different purpose.

However, there are some common patterns that tend to emerge along these journeys, which are often referred as the twin flame stages. It is believed that most of twin flame connections end up going through these stages at some point, although the order in which they are experienced can vary.

Also (let me start with a disclaimer), the last stage of the twin flame journey is not always twin flame union as it depends on many factors including soul maturity and free will. Nothing is set in stone and we have the power to create our reality and decide if we want to be in union with our twin flame or not.

The twin flame journey is not an easy one. We are here to learn and evolve in this consciousness evolution journey which involves experiencing both polarities – pain and love. I wish this wouldn’t sound so harsh but unfortunately this is not Disney channel. I think that the way twin flame relationships have been described in the past, caused a lot of suffering in many people by making them believe that they are missing the other half of themselves as if they are an “incomplete” soul, which is absolutely not true.

Anyway, in this article, I am going to provide you a general map, with the goal to help you navigate through this journey a bit easier and pinpoint where you are right now. At the end, I hope I can also help you understand that you are a beautiful and whole soul, who is never incomplete during this journey. You are strong, powerful, and capable of going through all these twin flame stages, otherwise you would have not been given this difficult mission.

So, what are the twin flame stages? Check out if your twin flame relationship is experiencing any of the below.

Twin Flame Stages

Twin Flame Stage One – Meeting your twin flame

Many people spend years searching for their twin flame, while others have not even heard of this term, and are not looking for any relationship when they meet theirs. Not everyone is supposed to meet a twin flame in their lifetime – they show up in our lives for very specific reasons. Twin flames are our fast-track ticket to enlightenment, triggering us to work on ourselves and heal. Twin flame encounters support our consciousness evolution journey which contributes to the planet’s ascension. The more people grow in consciousness, the lighter the energies become on Earth, and the quicker evolution takes place.

So if you meet a twin flame, there is a reason for that – You have signed a twin flame contract. You have agreed to trigger each other in this lifetime to help each other wake up, evolve and move to the next stage of your souls’ journey.

The twin flame meeting might occur in very random situations that look kind of fated or divinely arranged as if you are pulled together like magnets.

Most of the time, one or even both twins are dealing with some kind of issue in their life or just getting out of a tough relationship and still in the process of healing. In some cases they are even in a different relationship and meeting a twin flame really surprises them. They might be going through financial or family issues and feeling that their life is not 100% put together.

When the meeting occurs, there’s an immediate sense of recognition even if you have never heard of twin flames before. You are not able to explain exactly why that person is extremely special but somehow you sense that this person will play an important role in your life. The awareness of your compatibility just hits you head on and there is an undeniable sense of having known them before.

Regardless of how you meet, your life will forever change from that moment and you will be shaken by the intensity of that bond. Fasten your seatbelt and welcome to the twin flame journey!

Twin Flame Stage Two – The honeymoon phase

This is considered the honeymoon stage of the twin flame journey as it literally feels like a honeymoon from a fairy tale story. As you fall in love and enter a relationship with a twin flame, all those Disney movies you have seen while growing up, suddenly look like the story of your life as you feel like you are living a dream. Your twin flame shows up as someone that you haven’t even dreamt it could possibly exist. Then you fall for them sooooooo deeply! You fall harder than you have ever fallen for anyone before. Every day you wake up in the morning with a huge smile on your face and you can’t believe how happy you are and how it is possible that someone like them is in your life. They look too good to be true! You pinch yourself all the time to try to understand if you are just dreaming.

A twin flame will take your breath away. The attraction will be hypnotising and even the sex with your twin flame will be something that you have never experienced before. Everything just feels completely off the charts and perfect in every possible way!

Sometimes, you might even feel a bit disorientated and unlike yourself as everything looks so new and different. It becomes difficult to “ground” yourself as you feel like you are in heaven and no matter how hard you may try to resist the attraction, you just end up completely surrendered to the connection.

The honeymoon stage is something you will never forget. It is so beautiful to fall deeply and madly in love with someone who shares such a deep soul connection with you.

I wish this article would end right here, but there are a few more twin flame stages that you will probably have to go through.

Twin Flame Stage Three – Mirroring and Crisis

Unfortunately, the honeymoon stage doesn’t last long. Twin flame relationships are extremely intense because twins mirror each other, and every interaction between them is marked by intensity and extreme emotion. They not only provide happiness and a sense of wholeness; but they also bring to the surface your flaws and shadow side.

In this twin flame stage, twin flames begin to mirror each other (known as the mirroring effect) and to see the “hidden” side of their twin. This side is usually “less pretty” and less acceptable. This is also when things become difficult and a crisis emerge.

The fact is that the more you get to know your twin flame, the more you are exposed to hidden parts of yourself and you start seeing these features in your twin – just like a mirror. All the parts of your being, that you may have tried to hide and reject, will be mirrored through your partner.

However, in this stage, twins do not admit that they exhibit the same behaviour that they criticize in their partner. Instead, they tend to become reactive and overwhelmed by all the differences in opinion and personality that arise. This leads to serious fights and arguments.

These arguments can be just about anything, for instance, jealousy, attitude, communication type, etc. Twin flames can bring to the surface deep core wounds and insecurities that you didn’t even know you had.

At this stage you think that it’s the other person who ‘’is wrong’’ or needs to change, while denying the need for you to deal with your own issues as well.

Twin Flame Stage Four – The Runner and Chaser (Separation)

No matter what form the crisis stage takes, as tensions mount and twins are faced with their shadow selves and the intensity of the twin flame relationship, they start to be torn between attraction and rejection.

This is when one of the partners – the twin flame runner – feels the urge to run away from their twin flame, trying to escape from the powerful emotions that they can’t understand or deal with. In some cases, they will suddenly shutdown emotionally, with no apparent reason. The other twin will be faced with silent treatments, get confused and devastated. This is often a point at which twin flames decide to go separate ways and the “runner and chaser” stage begins – also known as twin flame separation.

The runner and chaser stage revolves around one twin flame (the “twin flame runner”) distancing themselves, often out of fear or incapacity to deal with the level of intimacy within the relationship. This is usually the twin with predominant masculine energy (doesn’t have to be a man), and the one who is less open to change and less willing to transform. The “runner” is not familiar with such intensity and is more afraid of powerful emotions and their possible outcome. They end up being defensive and resistant as they feel they are “losing themselves’’.

Although the “runner” is the one who runs away from the relationship, they also experience pain during this process as they don’t understand what is going on with them and don’t know that they are actually running away from themselves. Sometimes, they will enter or go back to karmic relationships which feel more familiar and safer for them.

Meanwhile, the other twin flame will assume the role of “chaser”, believing that the connection is worth fighting for. This doesn’t mean that they will actually start chasing their partner, sometimes they just take small actions to try to fix the relationship and keep hope in their hearts that one day they will be together again. The twin flame chaser is usually the one with predominant feminine energy (doesn’t have to be a woman) and more introspective and open to personal transformation and growth.

Although the “chaser” is often at a higher and more mature level of consciousness, they are also avoiding personal growth every time they believe that they will only be happy with their twin flame and no one else. This is an act of giving their power away which goes against the principal of growing and evolving in consciousness.

The runner and chaser stage can last for months or years. Sometimes the twin flame runner returns to build a stronger connection after they have worked on themselves. However, in extreme cases, this leads to permanent termination of the twin flame relationship. The outcome is always dependent on each partner’s ability to go through the next stages of the twin flame connection, which involve surrendering and healing. Both twins will need to raise their frequency enough to align with each other and the vibration of love. This is not an easy process. The runner and chaser stage can only end up when the runner surrenders and starts dealing with their emotions, and the chaser surrenders and stops trying to push – they both need to let go of control.

As a sidenote, you may also be in either role of the twin flame relationship and switch back and forward between the two roles at different stages of the journey.

Twin Flame Stage Five – Dark Night of the Soul

This is a very difficult stage marked by an intense twin flame longing. This stage could actually be considered part of the previous one as while the runner and chaser dynamic takes place, twin flames are faced with many hardships and their lives feel like they are falling apart. It doesn’t necessarily happen to both twins and more often than not, it’s the one who is more mature and ready to evolve who enters a deep stage of depression when they start losing hope on the connection, questioning why all their relationships have failed to that point and wondering if they are good enough. As their reality crumbles, and they see their twin flame dating someone else, they start questioning everything, including love itself.

It is such a painful experience, when you feel at your lowest, completely hopeless and disappointed in love, and start blaming yourself for everything that went wrong. You feel overwhelmed with the twin flame separation pain, and start believing that you don’t deserve love.

This is called the “Dark night of the soul” because it feels as if you are dying and unable to make positive changes or move on from the pain. Simultaneously, you feel as if you don’t know yourself anymore, as you thought you were much stronger than that, and you don’t understand why someone like you could get so deeply affected by a relationship. This is when you start realising that you don’t yet know some parts of yourself.

While this stage can be the most painful and devastating, it is the first step of healing and it is essential for growth. The Dark Night of the Soul is actually the initial stage of the “ego death” which leads to an amazing personal transformation. If you hadn’t been challenged by all the turmoil and pain, it would have been more difficult to “meet” your shadow side and see yourself for who you really are – a beautiful soul with deep wounds, who needs to work on self-love and get their power back.

Twin Flame Stage Six – Surrender and Healing

When you get to this stage, it is the quiet after the storm. The Dark Night of the Soul has confronted you with your shadow and now it is time to break chains with the past and release everything that doesn’t serve you anymore. This includes negative beliefs and negative self-talk about you not being good enough.

You remember that you are a beautiful soul who is whole on your own and this is usually when the twin flame chaser gives up on the connection. It is the realization that no one else is your other half as you are already complete. Happiness does not come from the outside but from within. You have the power to generate feelings of joy and love just by working on self-love.

This is also a beautiful period of surrender. You start to give up on a previous need to control the outcome of your relationship and accept that the universe will lead you to where you need to go to fulfill your mission – the twin flame mission. You realise that you will be happy either with or without your twin flame. This isn’t about giving up on the twin flame relationship, but rather learning how to live in and enjoy the present moment, without any expectations.

Getting to this stage where you are able to simply let go of the past, cut cords with your twin flame and sincerely wish from the bottom of your heart that your twin flame is happy just as you are, is so powerful! It takes a lot of self-development work to get to this stage and not everyone reaches it. The art of releasing and surrendering takes a lot of healing work. It is essential to practice a lot of self-reflection and meditation. At this stage, you can also help your twin flame heal with meditations such as this Guided meditation to help your twin flame heal, although the focus of the healing should be on yourself as we are not able to control if our twin flame does their healing work or not. This is because there is something called “free will” on this planet.

If both twins reach this stage, then they will be able to open up about their wounds and insecurities to each other and begin to work through their differences and rebuild their relationship which will grow stronger than ever.

Twin Flame Stage Seven – Oneness

Twin flame stages can develop in several different orders and many times throughout the twin flame journey. These experiences can also lead to different outcomes. For instance, you can finally get in physical union with your twin flame or not. In some cases, one of the twins decides not to do all the healing work from the previous stages which prevents physical union from taking place. Other times, even when both twins do the necessary work, one or both of them may decide that they are better separated. It can also happen that while the “runner” twin flame is doing their work, the “chaser” who has already healed, meets a beautiful soulmate and decides to go on that path.

There are so many possibilities but at the end, the most important thing and the main purpose of going through the twin flame journey, is to face our shadow, heal, learn how to love ourselves and evolve in consciousness towards oneness. Irrespective of the particular form of twin flame reunion that takes place, it always involves reunion with ourselves and it carries a deep sense of peace and oneness. Life completely changes from this moment on and we are able to see love in everything around us. We develop deep compassion for all beings and are able to forgive and let go of resentment. We understand that everyone is on their consciousness evolution journey and if someone crosses our path is to help us grow. We learn how to take the lessons, be grateful for the experience and feel whole and complete.

By feeling oneness within ourselves and in relation to everything else, we realise that everything is energy and everything is connected in the universe. By loving ourselves, we are loving others and being loved in return. We are all one!