Twin flame relationships can feel like a roller coaster when twins are not vibrating at the same energy frequency. Every twin flame connection goes through very difficult times as they are not meant to be easy. Twin flame relationships are in our lives to teach us lessons and help us grow. They are our fast-track ticket to enlightenment. These relationships force us to work on ourselves and develop self-love. The level of growth is incredible, but it comes with a price – pain, lots of pain! This pain is often caused by separation from our twin flame and can feel unbearable. Check out how to deal with twin flame separation pain.
When should you cut cords with your twin flame
There are many twin flame stages in these relationships and at some point there is a realization that no matter how strong and unique the twin flame connection is, the twins are just not aligned. Usually one of them (often the twin flame runner) “gets lost” along the journey and decides to not work on themselves. This is quite common and usually it takes longer for one of the twins to “wake up” to the twin flame journey. (Check out the twin flame awakening process to find out more.)
This is devastating for the awaken twin (usually the twin flame chaser), who is left with the decision to keep miserably waiting for them to be ready, and put their life on hold, or to move on and allow other energies to enter their heart.
This decision feels overwhelming due to the strong energetic bond between twin souls, and the pain grows in intensity. We feel like we will never be able to free ourselves from the connection and we will never be able to love anyone else. We wonder why can’t we forget our twin flame? In our mind, we believe that we have found “the one” we are supposed to be with, and this is actually the main cause of the problem.
This is the moment when the universe tests us. Will we learn the lessons, focus on all the good things we have in our lives and become excited about all the new experiences ahead us? Or will we put our lives on hold and keep focusing on what we don’t have? If you are reading this article, you have probably chosen the first option and decided that it is time to let go and detach from your twin flame relationship. Detaching is not a selfish act, and it doesn’t mean giving up on the relationship. It means that you have chosen to remove your energy from the twin flame cord and allocate it to work on yourself, without any expectations of any type of future outcome of the connection. You decided that you will be fine either with or without them and you wish them all the best, with no hard feelings. This is a beautiful realization, part of the twin flame journey! Learning how to be self-sufficient instead of co-dependent. Learning how to love ourselves and others unconditionally. Learning that happiness comes from within, not from outside.
Remember, all that you are going through is part of your twin flame soul contract and you have the power to break it. This contract is just a blueprint which is not supposed to be set in stone. You have the free will to break your twin flame soul contract and in some cases that is actual part of the contract.
How to detach from a twin flame
Do not run from the pain – feel to heal
The first step is to understand why exactly you want to cut the cord. If you want to do it because you simply can’t stand the pain anymore, rather than being sure that you will be fine with or without them, this means that you still need to heal first. There’s a lot of healing work to do as we need to “feel to heal”. We need to go through the grief process first and let go of any negative emotions such as anger, shame and guilt. Only when we are vibrating at higher frequencies, we are able to heal and cut the cord with the twin flame. We can’t simply run from or ignore the pain. Remember that these relationships serve the purpose of helping you heal, grow and elevate to the love frequency. (Check out the Hawkins scale of vibration.) If you are vibrating at such low frequencies, you will keep stuck and your life will remain on hold.
Make sure you are only surrounded by love energies and you are at a point where you wish nothing but the best for your twin flame. By detaching from them, it doesn’t mean that you don’t love them. They will always have a special place in your heart but you realise that union is only possible when both twins are healed. This can happen or not in this lifetime. This is because we live in a planet where there is free will, and some people simply decide not to heal.
By cutting the cord with your twin flame, you are actually helping them heal. Try this guided meditation to help your twin flame heal, it is very powerful.
Let go of the meaning
In order to cut cords with a twin flame, you need to let go of the meaning you give to them. When we associate our twin flame to “the one”, we are saying that there is no one else we can love. This is absolutely not true! Although it is true that a twin flame connection can be the most beautiful love story of your life, this doesn’t mean that you cannot experience other beautiful connections that will fulfill you and make you even happier. Keep in mind that the reason why twin flame connections feel so strong is because our twin acts as a mirror of ourselves. They reflect all that we need to heal by feeling so “familiar” and such a great match. Many twins end up meeting a beautiful soulmate and experiencing a relationship that feels so much easier and natural, without all the drama. Check out the differences twin flame vs soulmate.
It’s all about the energy you are vibrating at a specific moment. If your twin flame is not aligned at the same frequency than you, because they have not done the work, you can find someone who is actually at the same vibration frequency than you, and it will feel wonderful and just right and perfect! Think of it as an upgrade, a 2.0 version. There are millions of stories like this. This is because the purpose of twin flame relationships is to make us grow quickly rather than being in a Disney movie. All the drama and growth is what will allow us to understand that happiness comes from within, not from anything external, such as a person, a relationship or any other life event. When we realize this, suddenly we are able to be happy either by ourselves or with a soulmate.
Just a quick sidenote: I am not saying that twin flame relationships don’t work, no! They can definitely work and it can be beautiful! They just need a lot more work from both twins to align and grow together, than other relationships. This work can take many lifetimes.
Find the lessons
The best way to cut cords with a twin flame is focus on the lessons you have learned from the relationship. Sometimes it might seem hard to understand what these lessons are when we can only see pain and misery. We feel like we are victims of the universe. However, this is not the case. Everything happens for us, not to us, in a twin flame connection. Try to find out what were the main takeaways from everything that went wrong. Was it that you were too co-dependent? Was it that you didn’t feel enough, or you didn’t feel lovable? Was it that you always believed that everyone would always end up cheating on you? Etc…
By finding out what was the main lesson from the experience, you will also realise some patterns and negative beliefs and self-talk that have ever been part of your life, but you have never noticed how toxic and damaging they were. You will finally realise what was keeping you stuck and preventing you from manifesting your dream life or dream relationship.
Follow your path
What is your purpose? Was excites you the most in this life? What do you like to do the most?
Remember that twin flames come to this planet with a twin flame mission to fulfil. It can be as simple as just staying in a high vibration to transmute negative energy around you and help others. You are able to raise your vibration by doing things that you love, such as writing, painting, singing, etc.
Are you paying attention to your daily state of mind and vibration? Are you feeling grateful and happy just for having the chance to wake another day? If not, this means that either you still didn’t find what you would like to be doing, or you know it but you have repressed it because you think that it is not a good idea to follow your passion.
There are so many things that you can do and will make a difference in this world. Even the simple act of smiling or saying “Good morning” or “thank you” to someone can make a huge difference in the energy around us. It can change the world.
To cut the cord with your twin flame, or to align with them, it is essential to follow your path, your personal mission. By doing this, you will stop feeding energy to the twin flame cord and will use it to do other great things.
At the end, keep in mind that we are all connected at a universal level – We are all one! Energy will always be there, so you just need to make sure that it is the right one as it can’t be destroyed, only transmuted. You can cut all the negative emotions such as anger and guilt and focus on love and compassion for yourself, your twin flame and everyone else.
Everyone is on their own journey, dealing with their own dramas and obstacles, constantly learning and evolving. It’s time to make the most of the journey and learn how to LOVE!
Learn more about twin flame soul contracts.
Love and Light x