Being unfairly judged is one of the most painful and difficult experiences one can go through in this life. Feeling powerless after being judged or accused of doing something that you didn’t do is something that you’re probably facing right now, if you’re reading this article, and something I’ve experienced a couple of times myself.
Some cases can go to an extreme, think for instance of those who spend their life in prison after being wrongly accused of committing a crime, or those who were actually guilty, have never been convicted and were able to keep their freedom.
The awareness of these situations can easily put us in a mind state of disbelief in justice and belief in an unfair world. These beliefs will then take control of our lives and eventually lead to even more unfair judgements.
In this article, I will give you a brief personal perspective on the topic of unfair judgements.
Why do we judge?
In an ideal world, justice should be naturally present in any event or circumstance, bringing truth to the surface and restoring balance amidst conflict. Unfortunately, we are not always able to defend ourselves in specific situations due to:
- Misleading facts against us (either fabricated or just circumstantial)
- Misleading communication
These lead to misleading perception which then becomes the cause of false judgements and accusations.
It’s very difficult to change our perception of something when our mind is used to compartmenting specific actions or events into specific categories which are also associated to specific meanings and interpretations. This is because our ego minds were programmed to protect us from harm and that’s what keep us alive. For instance, we learn earlier on that we should not play with fire as we might get burned. We learn how to judge and react quickly in a situation like this so that we can avoid pain and also survive.
Through our mind programming, we end up living on autopilot mode 90% of our life and we even have expressions such as “old habits never change” which remind us how difficult it is for us humans to change our minds and pre conceived ideas.
Unfortunately, that can also cause immense pain if we happen to wrongly judge a situation or if we are unfairly judged by someone due to preconceived thoughts.
How to prevent wrong judgements
The key to break the habit of quick judging is to develop communication skills such as the ability to listen. Just because we hear what someone says, it doesn’t mean that we are always 100% listening. Listening involves the ability to be open to messages that don’t exactly fit in our belief system. If when someone starts talking to us, we immediately feel the need to interrupt them because we think that we know what they are trying to say and we think that we will not like it, then it means that we are not actually willing to listen.
Speaking our truth in a clear way is also an important part of communication. If you feel unfairly judged by someone ask yourself “Am I communicating in the right way?” “Is the feeling of resentment preventing me to send out a clear message that explains my point of view?” Sometimes we might even need to ask help from someone else, for instance, in case we’re trying to communicate in a language that it’s not our mother tongue. This has happened to me several times as I struggled to communicate and explain my point in difficult situations, because English is not my first language and I realised that sometimes I would not choose the most suitable words to describe what I was trying to.
A common mistake that people make (and I’ve made it myself) is to easily quit and not even try to defend our point of view. If you are innocent and accused of doing something that you haven’t done, then make sure you at least express your feelings about it. Repressed feelings are one of the main causes of suffering for mankind, especially for women who tend to do this more than men. Do your best to expose your case and ask for help if needed. Of course, I am not suggesting that you should focus exclusively on that situation as some battles are not worth the fight. Your intuition will tell you what’s worth fighting for as your energy is something that needs to be effectively managed and spent wisely.
Cultural differences also need to be taken in consideration as many times what it is acceptable as normal in one culture, is completely seen as unacceptable in a different one. For instance, it’s easy for a woman to get judged for wearing a skirt in some Muslim countries, while it’s considered normal in Europe. If the cause of the unfair judgement is cultural or religious, you might have to work on feelings of respect and acceptance rather than trying to escalate something which will only lead you to lower your vibration and make things worse.
Another common situation is confusing feelings of being unfairly judged with reality. Sometimes we feel hurt because we think someone is judging us, but in fact, the way that person acted just happened to trigger some old wounds that we had deep buried within ourselves. Take a step back and ask yourself why you are feeling judged. Is the situation triggering unresolved memories of the past?
Healing past wounds is essential to avoid constant feelings of being judged. Practicing self love habits and learning how to accept ourselves is key in preventing false judgements.
Another question to ask yourself is how often do you judge other people? If you’re someone constantly associating people with stereotypes or pointing the finger at them for something you don’t agree with, then maybe it’s time to start addressing that habit and becoming more accepting and compassionate towards others. Remember that according to the Law of Attraction, we attract into our life whatever we focus on. The type of energy we send out to the universe, is the one we will get back and manifested into our reality. In order to attract people that are not judgemental, make sure you are in the right energy vibration (check out the Hawkins scale of vibration).
There is so much more to be said about this topic and this post is a simplistic approach to something that can be very serious and have a deep impact in one’s life.
The bottom line is that we are all on our own consciousness evolution journey and we came to Earth to learn an evolve. Being faced with obstacles such as wrong judgements is something that we all need to go through at some point in our lives. The key is to identify the lesson behind each situation, accept it and grow from it. Life becomes easier as we gather this knowledge.
I hope this helped you somehow bringing clarity to your situation and I would love to hear your tips on how to deal with unfair judgements in life.
Love and light x